….and Other Lies We’ve Heard
Key notes
- There is no quick fix to mental health
- The worst thing you’ve ever been through, is the worst thing you’ve ever been through
6 simple rules to beat your depression. The internet is littered with articles, essays, and blog posts telling you that if you just do “these” things, you’ll beat your depression, silence your anxiety, and sleep through the night perfectly. They usually involve something like going for a walk when you feel a certain way, or taking a shower to wash bad feelings away, and calling a friend to vocalize your concerns. Somewhere in there the author will tell you to make sure you’re eating right, exercising regularly, and doing something nice for yourself.
These kinds of quick fixes may work if you’re temporarily down the dumps because of a rough day, but those truly experiencing deep rooted mental health issues will look at these lists and spiral further down the hole they’ve been struggling to get out of before Ms. Sunshine told them they just need to smile more.
No matter how empathetic a person claims to be, no one can truly understand what another person feels about the battles they’re fighting. Words can be used describe the weight, but no one else can feel the shadow that sits on your shoulders, making the simplest tasks seem overwhelming. I can tell you about the emptiness I feel, but only I truly know how this deep, gaping hole in my chest makes it hard to breathe and stabs at my soul. The worst thing you’ve ever been through, is the worst thing only you’ve been through. Though two people may experience the same trauma, they each feel the impact of that trauma differently. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to handling our mental health.
While attempting to claw my way out of a deep hole of depression, I turned to the internet, professional help, and acquiring an unhealthy amount of impulse purchases that I knew would be the thing I was missing. Being told to go for a walk when I can barely will myself out of bed only highlights another failure in my head. Some days, no amount of motivating quotes or attempts at self motivation would break the metaphoric restraints that kept me in bed. I would look at my running shoes that I’d logged hundreds of miles in, and even putting them on seemed like a stretch. Yet another defeat, as I knew how capable my body was and reflected on the joy I found in running, but I couldn’t even get my shoes on.
Other resources told me that if I ate “these” specific foods, it would reset my gut and turn my frown upside down. Yet I would sit there and stare at the food my stomach ached for, yet I couldn’t eat it. I could only stare at it and beg myself to eat it. I felt hunger and knew I hadn’t eaten in days. My head ached from lack of nutrients, and my insides cramped looking for something to use as energy. Yet, there I sat, staring at the food I knew I wanted, and absolutely could not bring myself to consume it.
There is no quick fix or lesson in this post. It’s purpose is to let people know that there is not something wrong with them because the get rich quick solutions don’t work on them. The effort alone to keep pushing through everyday demonstrates strength. Seek out professional help. If those professionals aren’t helping you, find new ones. There are good ones out there that can teach you what you need to know so that you can show up for yourself.